FADE IN

An Elijan temple in Rome. A young priest is deep in prayer at the altar. Siran enters and waits quietly at the rear of the temple. Once he finishes, she clears her throat.

SIRAN:
     Carminus?

He turns and smiles, hurrying down from the altar to meet her.

CARMINUS:
     Siran! Thank you for coming. (He takes her hands in his) You're looking well. (He glances around.) Your friend--is she also here?

SIRAN:
     Sabina accompanied me to the city but you know she wouldn't come into the temple. She went to get something to eat.

CARMINUS:
     Well, at any rate it's good to see you. Though I wish the circumstances were more pleasant.

SIRAN (frowns):
     It's Peter, isn't it? He's gone?

Carminus frowns and nods sadly.

CARMINUS:
     Just this morning.

CUT TO

Outside the Elijan Temple. Two men trudge along the road. It's obvious they are dressed in garb too heavy for the Mediterranean climate--heavy furs and wools. They are Vikings. Sven, the leader, is of average height and build. Ragnar, his companion, is short and portly. He trudges along behind Sven, exhausted and dragging his sword in the dirt.

RAGNAR:
     This doesn't look like Britannia to me, Sven.

SVEN:
     This is Britannia! I'm sure of it!

RAGNAR:
     We're lost. (plaintively) We'll never make it home now.

SVEN:
     We'll get home--don't you worry about that. They don't call me Sven the Invincible for nothing.

RAGNAR:
     But someone stole our boat.

SVEN:
     Ragnar, by the time we're done here we'll be able to buy a thousand boats!

RAGNAR:
     You know, I've been thinking about your plan, Sven. I don't think it's right for us to just take things that don't belong to us.

SVEN:
     We are Vikings! We plunder and pillage and take what we want.

RAGNAR:
     But stealing is wrong!

Sven sighs tiredly.

SVEN:
     Well, if you insist on looking at this from an ethnical point of view--

RAGNAR:
     Yes! That's what I'm saying!

SVEN:
     But we have no money and no boat. How else are we supposed to get home?

Ragnar frowns and looks around, searching for an answer.

RAGNAR:
     Look! A temple! We could pray for a boat.

SVEN (shocked):
     A Viking does not prostate himself before lesser gods. What would Odin think?

Ragnar frowns, momentarily stymied by Sven's argument. Suddenly his expression brightens and he points

RAGNAR:
     There's a fish painted on the door! Perhaps this god is a patron god of the sea. He might give us a boat.

SVEN:
     You've got a point. After all, what god of the sea wouldn't be honored to have a Viking bring him glory?

CUT TO

Inside the Elijan Temple. Ragnar kneels, clasps his hands and is praying fervently to the fish symbol upon the altar. Sven kneels beside him and looks around, noticing Siran and Carminus standing off to the side. Carminus hands Siran a metallic orb that appears to be made of pure silver. Sven's eyes widen and he inclines his head discreetly to listen in on their conversation.

CARMINUS:
     ...you must make it to Ostia in five days. The ceremony can't take place without the orb and this decree from Peter naming the new Head Priest.

Carminus hands over a large, ornate scroll. Siran takes it reverently and nods.

Sven grabs Ragnar by the shoulder and drags him to his feet.

SVEN:
     We're leaving!

RAGNAR:
     But I haven't finished my prayer to the sea god--

SVEN:
     Our prayers have been answered, Ragnar!

Outside the temple. Sven leans casually against a pillar while Ragnar paces. Siran appears at the top of the steps.

SVEN:
     Here she comes!

RAGNAR:
     But she looks like such a nice girl!

Sven bats Ragnar in the chest to shut him up. He leans casually against a pillar and smiles at Siran as she descends the steps of the temple.

SVEN:
     A fine evening for praying, isn't it, little lady?

SIRAN (smiles):
     Just fine, thank you.

SVEN:
     My friend Ragnar and I are both religious men. Isn't that right, Ragnar?

RAGNAR (sighs):
     I certainly am!

Sven hits Ragnar in the chest again.

SVEN:
     And we'd like to learn more about your sea god. Perhaps you could tell us about him over herring and a cup of glogg?

Siran smiles, friendly but wary.

SIRAN:
     Carminus is the priest of this temple. I'm sure he'd be happy to tell you anything you'd like to know.

Siran walks past them but Sven follows.

SVEN:
     We're Vikings, you know. We plunder and pillage and lay waste to the land. That turn you on? Plundering and pillaging?

Siran spins on him, shocked. She opens her mouth to speak but is cut off. Sabina steps up to her side. Her manner is calm and cool and with a sword at her side she cuts an imposing figure.

SABINA:
     Well, well. What have we here? Friends of yours, Siran?

SIRAN:
     They were in the temple.

RAGNAR:
     Praying to the sea god.

SABINA:
     Really. Well far be it from me to come between you and your god. (she puts a hand on Siran's shoulder.) Let's go.

SVEN:
     What's your rush? (he leans close to Sabina and winks) Two ladies, two Vikings...do the math.

He grins lewdly and pats her backside. Sabina takes a step back, reaching for her sword.

SABINA:
     Two dead Vikings.

Siran grabs for Sabina's hand on the hilt of her sword.

SIRAN:
     Sabina!

Sabina frowns and looks down at Siran who shakes her head. She thinks a minute then let's out a deep breath.

SABINA:
     Well, this is your lucky day. If it wasn't for my friend, they'd be picking up pieces of Viking all over Rome.

SVEN (shocked):
     Rome?

RAGNAR:
     See? I told you this wasn't Britannia! You never should have taken that left turn at Gaul!

Sabina and Siran walk off while Sven and Ragnar can be heard arguing in the background.

CUT TO

Xena, Gabrielle and Haimon standing roadside. Xena holds Argo's reigns and rolls her eyes, shaking her head in annoyance.

HAIMON:
     ...I can't believe you took Xena to the Sappho reading instead of me.

GABRIELLE:
     Haimon, I explained this to you. Sappho was only appearing the one night and you were called away to Clonia.

HAIMON:
     That's not the point. We had planned on seeing her together.

XENA:
     You didn't miss much, Haimon. I thought it was pretty boring, myself. What sort of poetry doesn't even rhyme?

HAIMON:
     Why can't you--

He is cut off when Darion runs out of the bushes, straightening his pants.

DARION:
     All done!

Haimon and Gabrielle glare at one another in silence.

XENA:
     Darion--come ride up here with me.

Xena lifts Darion onto Argo and they resume walking down the road.

Haimon continues on in a whisper that comes out in a hiss.

HAIMON:
     See? Xena doesn't even like poetry.

GABRIELLE:
     Well, I do plenty of things with Xena that I don't like either.

Xena overhears this and stops and turns to Gabrielle.

HAIMON:
     Like what?

Gabrielle fidgets uncomfortably and gives both Haimon and Xena a nervous glance.

GABRIELLE:
     Well...you know...Xena sometimes likes to...

She trails off into silence.

Haimon glares and Xena crosses her arms and taps her foot impatiently.

XENA:
     Well?

Gabrielle pauses, trying to choose her words carefully. Finally she throws up her hands and resumes walking.

GABRIELLE:
     I can't believe we're having this conversation! It's absurd.

Behind them, Sabina steps out from the underbrush.

SABINA:
     For once I agree with you, Gabrielle. Xena, Warrior Princess at a poetry reading? What next? You running the snack table at a gladiator contest?

They all stop and turn towards Sabina, regarding her silently for a long moment. Sabina stares at them expectantly.

SABINA:
     What? No clever retort? My wit and charm must have grown on you. (She notices Darion.) Hello. Who have we here?

GABRIELLE (reluctantly):
     This is Darion.

SABINA:
     Well hello, Darion. This is your Auntie Sabina. I'm sure Xena and Gabrielle have told you all about me.

Darion approaches Sabina, inspecting her warily.

DARION:
     You don't really have fangs, do you?

He looks back at Haimon, who puts his hand to his forehead and looks away.

GABRIELLE (clears her throat and looks down):
     Darion...

Pan to Xena, who can barely suppress a smile, and then to Darion, who looks confused, realizing that he has said something he shouldn't.

SABINA (chuckles):
     Don't believe everything you hear.

DARION:
     Gabrielle says lying is wrong.

SABINA:
     Well, Gabrielle is right. (she winks) But sometimes it's fun.

XENA (in a faintly menacing tone):
     Look, we could just walk away right now.

Sabina smiles sweetly.

SABINA:
     You could...but would you? (she glances at Gabrielle and Haimon) No, you and your goody-goody friends would never do that. (she turns to Darion) You see, Darion--little boys like you can learn from people like Xena, Gabrielle and Haimon. They always do the right thing.

GABRIELLE (edgy):
     And what about you?

SABINA (shrugs):
     Me? Oh--I know what the right thing is. And sometimes I'll even do it. But I'm not like some people who'll do the right thing even if it kills them. You just can't help it, can you?

XENA (sighs impatiently):
     Sabina, why did you send for us?

Sabina laughs admiringly.

SABINA:
     Now that's the Xena I've always admired. No time to waste on pleasantries with an old friend--right down to business. (pauses; off Xena's expectant stare) Why did I send for you? Let's just say I heard you were in the neighborhood and I thought you might lend me a hand.

XENA (suspiciously):
     A hand with what?

SABINA (smiles sweetly):
     Would it make you feel better to know that this is Siran's mission and I'm just tagging along for...moral support?

Xena smiles coolly at Sabina.

XENA:
     Yes, as a matter of fact it would.

GABRIELLE:
     Siran is here?

SABINA:
     She's back at the camp. (She pauses and glances up at the sun) We should hurry--there isn't a lot of time.

Sabina starts walking briskly. Xena, Gabrielle, Haimon and Darion follow behind her; Xena picks up her pace to catch up with her. Darion tries to keep pace with Xena to walk with Sabina but Gabrielle pulls him back.

XENA:
     So what exactly is this mission of Siran's?

SABINA:
     Ever heard of the Orb of Mimir?

XENA (frowns):
     The Elijan talisman? Eve mentioned it once. She thought it was a myth.

CUT TO

Xena, Sabina and the others arrive at the campsite where Siran is stoking the campfire. The orb rests beside her. Sabina gestures towards it.

SABINA:
     Seeing is believing.

Siran jumps up and smiles.

SIRAN:
     Xena, Gabrielle, Haimon! I'm so glad you've come!

SABINA:
     And not a moment too soon. (she glances up at the sky) The sun is setting. It's time you passed the orb to me, Siran.

XENA (suspiciously):
     Really. And why is that so important?

Sabina waves in an uncharacteristically agitated way.

SABINA:
     Xena, we don't have time to explain and wait for you and Gabrielle to weigh the pros and cons of giving me the orb.

Siran picks up the orb and holds it out to Sabina to take. Xena steps forward and snatches the orb from Siran's hands. Siran and Sabina both stare at Xena in shock.

XENA:
     Well, if it's all the same to you, I'll feel a whole lot better hanging onto this until you do explain.

The last rays of sunlight fade.

SIRAN (whispers):
     Sunset.

XENA:
     So why don't we sit down and have a nice chat while Gabrielle goes and kills something for dinner and Haimon takes care of the horses.

A bell rings. "Reset."

The sunlight fades.

SIRAN (whispers):
     Sunset.

Xena stares at her, bewildered.

XENA:
     What in Tartarus--? (looks around; then, to Sabina) Well, like I said--Gabrielle can go kill us something for dinner, Haimon can take care of the horses and you and I can have a chat about the orb.

A bell rings. "Reset."

The sunlight fades.

SIRAN (whispers):
     Sunset.

Xena gapes at her in confusion as we:

FADE OUT

END OF TEASER