9.07 Take Two


ACT ONE

FADE IN

On the same scene. Xena stares in confusion at Sabina and Siran.

XENA:
     All right--what's going on?

Sabina

SABINA (smirks):
     I don't think it likes what you said.

XENA (narrows her eyes at Sabina):
     Huh?

SABINA:
     I'd try something different if I were you.

XENA (nonplussed):
     Different? (thinks) Why don't you tell Gabrielle and me all about the orb, and Haimon can go hunt us up some dinner and take care of the horses.

PLAY CHIME
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The bell rings. "Reset."

The sunlight fades.

SIRAN (whispers):
     Sunset.

XENA (starting to get really impatient):
     All right. Why don't you tell us all about the orb and then I'll go hunt us up some dinner and Haimon can take care of the horses.

She pauses, waiting to see what happens. Pan over the faces of Gabrielle, Haimon, Darion and Siran, also expectant. Sabina smirks.

Xena gives a sigh of relief, then looks at Sabina and Siran.

XENA (slowly, narrowing her eyes):
     All right, start talking.

SIRAN (nervously):
     It's--it's the orb.

XENA (holds up the orb and looks at it mistrustfully):
     I figured as much. What does it do?

SIRAN:
     Well--let me tell you the whole story...

XENA (snarls):
     Make it snappy.

PLAY CHIME
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The bell rings again.

SIRAN:
     Let me tell you the whole story--

Xena clenches her fists, about to explode.

SABINA (coolly):
     Temper, temper, Xena. At this rate, we'll be stuck here all night. Better let her tell the story.

As Xena stews silently, Siran continues.

SIRAN:
     The orb was created by a powerful master of magic who converted to Eli's teachings--and came to believe that the only true magic was love. He gave the orb--

She glances at Xena and sees her tense up, as if listening to something.

SIRAN:
     Xena?

Xena turns to her and nods, still alert.

XENA:
     Go on.

SIRAN:
     He gave the orb a great power. It's all explained right here in this sacred scroll--

She takes out a scroll tucked away under her belt and begins to unroll it.

MALE VOICE (off-camera):
     Great powers. Just the thing we want to hear.

Pan over to Sven and Ragnar, who stand on the edge of the clearing. Sven is swaggering while Ragnar looks visibly uncomfortable and nervous.

SVEN (to Xena):
     You. In the leather. Hand that over.

XENA (incredulous):
     Are you talking to me?

SVEN:
     Who else?

He draws his sword and charges at Xena with a furious yell. Xena slips the orb inside her breastplate and then stands still, looking exasperated and bored. Then, as he is almost upon her, she whips around, kicks the sword out of his hand, knees him in the gut, and then kicks him, making him fly back with a yell and slam into a tree, promptly passing out.

XENA (turning to a terrified Ragnar):
     You want some of this?

PLAY CHIME
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Before Ragnar can say anything, the bell rings.

The scene is "reset" to Ragnar standing on his feet, sword in hand. He looks around incredulously.

SVEN (to Ragnar):
     Invincible! What did I tell you?

The camera pans slowly over the utterly stunned faces of Xena, Gabrielle, Haimon, and Darion, who gapes open-mouthed at Sven. Even the imperturbable Sabina looks shocked. Finally pan to Xena, who looks bewildered and disgusted.

SVEN:
     Give it up!

With a furious yell, he charges at Xena again.

Mindful of what happened before, Xena now fights him cautiously, parrying his blows without hurting him. The camera pulls back to show them fighting as the others look on curiously. Their fight looks particularly amusing since Sven is about a head shorter than Xena.

SVEN (slightly out of breath):
     I see you're afraid of me. (grins triumphantly) You should be, little lady.

Xena

XENA (growls):
     You're really asking for it...

With a snarl, she knocks the sword from Sven's hand. With surprisingly agility, he manages to pick it up before she steps on it, and charges her again. Xena is growing increasingly frustrated.

Taking advantage of her frustration, Sven advances and manages to nick her arm with a thrust of his sword. With a look of shock and anger, Xena parries his blow but doesn't strike back.

Pan to Gabrielle and Haimon, who look puzzled and concerned. Meanwhile, Darion swings his arms, trying to imitate Xena's battle moves.

SABINA (amused):
     Xena, if our Viking friend is too much for you to handle, I could always step in and help.

Just as she speaks, an emboldened Sven lets out a loud, hoarse battle cry that sounds like the roar of a sick sea lion, and strikes out at Xena with his sword while attempting to kick her at the same time. Having had enough of this, Xena finally stops holding back. She whips around with a fierce yell of her own and strikes out at Sven. Her sword plunges into his gut.

Sven's battle cry is cut short as the camera pans to his face, full of shock and pain.

Pan to Siran, who gasps in horror, then to Gabrielle, who looks shocked, and to Darion, who clutches fearfully at her skirt.

Pan to Sabina, who arches an eyebrow sarcastically.

SABINA:
     Uh-oh.

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The bell rings, with a sound that seems louder than before and almost angry.

Sven is standing in front of Xena again, alive and still holding his sword. He pats himself down in amazement.

SVEN (his face spreading into an incredulous grin):
     I'm immortal!

With a yell of frustration, Xena plunges her sword into the ground.

SABINA (laughs):
     Foiled by the bell.

Finally recovering the gift of speech, Ragnar runs up to Sven.

RAGNAR:
     Sven...I don't think I like this.

SVEN (swaggering):
     Oh yeah? Well, I do! Sven the Invincible lives to fight another day. (thumps his fist on his chest, then turns to Xena) Bring it on, woman!

Xena yanks her sword out of the ground and opens her mouth, about to yell in fury, then forcibly composes herself, forcing her right hand down with her left.

RAGNAR:
     Sven, she knocked you out the first time and then killed you. Maybe the third time's the charm. We should get out of here.

SABINA (still laughing at Xena's predicament, to Sven):
     I'd follow his advice if I were you. It would take too long to explain, but let me put it this way: I wouldn't have any problem killing you.

Pan to Siran, who looks alarmed but says nothing, then to Sven, who looks hesitant.

SABINA:
     So beat it. (turns to Xena) Well, Xena, maybe you'll learn a lesson from this.

XENA (glares):
     Like what?

SABINA:
     Like--occasionally, you should trust me?

While she's speaking, Sven looks around and then obviously makes a decision on the spot. He charges toward Siran, yanks the scroll out of her hand, roughly pushing her away so that she stumbles and falls with a yelp, and grabs the bridle of Sabina's horse. A confused Ragnar runs toward him.

SABINA (whips around and sees Siran lying on the ground):
     Siran!

While she rushes toward Siran, Sven climbs into the saddle, pulling up Ragnar behind him, and rides away into the darkening woods.

SVEN:
     Ha! Sven the Invincible rides again!

Siran stirs and sits up.

SABINA:
     Are you all right?

SIRAN:
     I'm fine, just.... (She scrambles to her feet and brushes dirt off her dress, then gasps suddenly) They stole the scroll!

SABINA:
     And my horse.

GABRIELLE:
     I'll go after them.

HAIMON:
     We'll go after them.

GABRIELLE:
     Haimon, I can handle this.

HAIMON (sourly):
     Fine. Handle it.

GABRIELLE (sighs):
     All right. We'll go after them together.

HAIMON (a little shamefaced):
     No, you were right. You don't need to wait for me.

DARION:
     You know, the bad guys are getting away.

HAIMON:
     Exactly. Listen to Darion.

GABRIELLE:
     Are you sure you're okay with this? (off his impatient look) All right--all right. I'm going.

She goes to get her horse and rides away.

XENA (suppressing her irritation):
     Well. Now that the interruption's over, maybe someone can tell me what this is all about.

SIRAN:
     The orb--well, it's hard to explain--

XENA:
     Try me.

SIRAN:
     It makes you do the right thing.

XENA (narrows her eyes):
     What are you talking about? I don't need this to tell me to do the right thing.

SIRAN:
     As long as you're in possession of the orb, if you do something.... (she pauses, searching for a word that won't offend Xena) something that isn't right--the orb will undo it, just as you saw. Time will turn back--to give you a chance to do it right.

XENA (irritably):
     Right according to whom?

SABINA:
     You ask too many questions, Xena. You've seen what the orb does. What more do you need?

XENA:
     I'll tell you what I don't need. (takes out the orb) This. (hands the orb over to Sabina) Take it. You need it more than I do.

SABINA (shakes her head):
     It won't do you any good.

XENA:
     Don't play games with me, Sabina. Just take it.

SABINA (shrugs):
     Suit yourself.

She takes the orb.

PLAY CHIME
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The bell rings. The scene is reset to Xena holding the orb.

XENA (glances at the orb with a crooked grin):
     So it doesn't like you. Fine. (She strides over to Haimon and gives the orb to him) You take it.

SIRAN:
     Xena, it won't--

Haimon takes the orb. The bell rings. Xena is holding the orb again.

XENA (yells):
     Aaaaaargh!

She throws the orb down on the ground.

PLAY CHIME
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Bell.

Xena is holding the orb again.

SIRAN:
     You can't give it away, Xena. Not until one full day has passed.

XENA:
     What?

SIRAN:
     Well--that was Mimir's idea. The orb would make its holder be good for a full day.

XENA:
     Great.

Siran

SIRAN:
     Peter--the Head Priest of the Elijans after Eli died--decided that it was not good for the orb to be out there, passing from one person to another.

HAIMON:
     Why not?

DARION:
     Because it would drive them crazy?

SIRAN:
     Peter thought that goodness should be chosen freely--not forced on you by a magical spell. Robbing them of that freedom--is not what Eli would have wanted. But Peter was a holy man who already lived a good life. He thought it would be safe for him to keep the orb--and pass it on to the next leader of the faith. When Peter died, I was entrusted with the mission of taking it to Ostia--to Peter's chosen successor.

XENA:
     So I have to hold on to this until sunset tomorrow.

SABINA:
     You haven't heard the best part yet.

XENA (looks at her suspiciously):
     What's that?

Siran hesitates for a moment, then looks at Xena.

SIRAN:
     If you don't give the orb away at sunset, you have to hold on to it for the rest of your life.

Close-up on Xena's shocked face.

CUT TO

Sven and Ragnar in a small clearing, sitting on a fallen log. Sabina's horse grazes nearby. Night has fallen completely. Sven is squinting at the scroll.

RAGNAR (nervously):
     Well?

SVEN (gives him a haughty look):
     Well, I'm not very good at reading--by moonlight. (shoves the scroll at Ragnar) You try it.

Ragnar cautiously takes the scroll and examines it, turns it upside down, then looks up at Sven, who reaches into his coat.

RAGNAR:
     I can't make this out. (nervously) Sven, what if--

SVEN (pulls out a piece of beef jerky and pops it in his mouth):
     Never mind. We know it's valuable--what more do we need to know?

RAGNAR:
     Sven, what if this thing-- (pokes a finger at the scroll)

SVEN (grabs the scroll from him):
     Hey! Careful with that. (puts the scroll inside his coat) It's not worth anything to us if you ruin it. That'll teach me to let a person of your ilk manhandle the goods.

RAGNAR:
     What if it's got some horrible curse written on it? Like, you know--it could say--

SVEN (irritably):
     Maybe it brings luck! (bites off another piece of jerky) Maybe that's what brought me back from the dead.

RAGNAR (thinks a moment):
     You came back from the dead before you had the scroll.

SVEN (deflated for a moment):
     Oh. (suddenly perks up) Maybe I'm a god!

RAGNAR (looks at him dubiously and shakes his head):
     I still say we shouldn't have taken it.

SVEN:
     Shut up. What we have to do now is figure out a way to get that other thing.

CUT TO

Xena is pacing impatiently around the clearing. Gabrielle, Haimon, Darion, Sabina and Siran are sitting round the campfire. Sabina is polishing her sword, casting occasional sarcastic glances at Xena. Siran is staring pensively into the campfire, and occasionally lifting her eyes to look at Xena as well with obvious anxiety. Darion is eating an apple.

GABRIELLE:
     Xena, look, I'm sorry I didn't find them--

XENA (stops and glares):
     Gabrielle, that's not our biggest problem right now.

She starts pacing again.

SABINA (gives her a sarcastic look):
     Siran might disagree with that.

SIRAN (looks up hastily from her mending):
     Oh! I'm sure Gabrielle did the best she could.

SABINA (wryly):
     Hmm--yes, I'm sure she did.

GABRIELLE (snaps):
     At least I didn't let them get away with my horse.

A burning stick falls out of the fire; Gabrielle kicks it back in.

XENA (stops again and raises her hands in a "time-out" gesture):
     All right! Enough with the bickering. First light tomorrow, we're going after those two and we're going to kick some Viking butt.

PLAY CHIME
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The bell rings.

"Reset": A burning stick falls out of the fire; irritably, Gabrielle kicks it back in.

XENA (throws up her hands):
     That does it! I can't work under these conditions!

She looks around suddenly, as if she's just thought of something.

XENA (mutters):
     I'll be back.

She runs off into the woods.

DARION:
     Where's she going?

SABINA (continues, imperturbably, to polish her sword):
     To talk to the boyfriend, I imagine.

Gabrielle gives her an alarmed look, then leaps to her feet.

GABRIELLE (yells):
     Xena--? (She takes a few steps in the direction where Xena went)

HAIMON:
     Gabrielle--where are you going?

SABINA (holds up the gleaming blade and looks at her own reflection in it):
     Maybe she wants to watch.

GABRIELLE (flustered):
     Look--she's upset and--

DARION (looks curiously at Sabina):
     Watch what?

Haimon and Gabrielle exchange anxious looks. Sabina smirks.

CUT TO

Another part of the woods. Xena, holding up the orb, stands facing Ares, who looks amused but also slightly nervous.

ARES:
     So you want me to take some Elijan amulet?

Xena and Ares

XENA (smirks):
     What are you, scared of this little thing?

ARES:
     Well, it seems that so far, this little thing has just about defeated your many skills--

XENA (snarls):
     Just shut up and take it!

PLAY CHIME
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The bell rings.

ARES:
     --this little thing has just about defeated your many skills--

Xena is about to explode but then forces herself to calm down, holding out her hands in a steadying gesture.

XENA (making an effort):
     Would you please just take it?

Ares shakes his head, his amusement overcoming his misgivings, and takes the orb from Xena.

PLAY CHIME
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The bell rings. "Reset" to Xena holding the orb.

XENA (exasperated):
     So much for any help from you.

PLAY CHIME
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The bell rings. Ares gives Xena an amused look.

XENA (through clenched teeth):
     Thank you for trying to help.

CUT TO

The clearing lit by the campfire. The camera pans over Darion sleeping in a bedroll, Sabina, Siran, Haimon, and Gabrielle, finally pausing on Xena who sits by the dying campfire, staring into it, a grim expression on her face.

CUT TO

Morning. Xena is sitting on the ground staring ahead of her, with the same grim expression on her face.

GABRIELLE:
     Xena, look, it's only until sundown. Then you can give it to me and everything will be fine.

XENA (mockingly):
     Oh you think so? (thinks a moment) No, I should give it to Ares. He's a god--chances are, it won't have any power over him. And if it does-- (she looks at Gabrielle with a crooked grin) maybe it wouldn't be so bad, huh?

SIRAN (quietly but firmly):
     Xena, I don't think this is right. The God of War--

XENA (grins at her):
     Well, think about it this way, Siran. The Orb of Mimir could make the God of War follow the way of peace--even if it is only for one day.

SABINA (smirks):
     That's going to be one long day. Well, are we going to sit here or are we going to get moving? The orb needs to be in Ostia in four days.

DARION (jumps to his feet):
     Let's go! (to Gabrielle) Can I ride with Sabina?

Xena and Gabrielle exchange worried looks.

GABRIELLE:
     I think we have another problem.

CUT TO

Xena and Gabrielle are walking along a narrow path in the woods, leading their horses. Haimon (with his horse) is walking behind them, a rather sour look on his face. Sabina and Siran can be seen in the background.

XENA (glances at Gabrielle):
     Well, if Darion comes back and starts asking why Aphrodite has so many swimming instructors, you can explain it--not me.

GABRIELLE (testy):
     Look. I know Aphrodite isn't the world's greatest babysitter, but where are we going to get someone else to watch him on short notice?

CUT TO

A montage:

* Xena, Gabrielle, Sabina, Siran and Haimon travel through the woods.

* Xena glares at Sabina and says something (we don't hear the words). The bell rings. Xena stares grimly ahead.

* The sun is now high in the sky

* A clearing. Xena, Gabrielle, Sabina and the others find Sabina's horse (neighing is heard over the soundtrack music). Sabina pats her horse on the neck.

* Xena, Gabrielle and Sabina in the village tavern talking to people. Looking pissed off, Xena says something to one of the patrons just as the serving girl trips and drops a tray. The bell rings. Reset to the serving girl tripping and dropping the tray. Close-up on Xena as she rolls her eyes.

* Xena and the others are walking through the woods again. The sun is starting to set.

CUT TO

A blazing sunset. Pan down to Ares and Xena sitting on a riverbank, staring rather tensely into the distance.

The camera then pulls back to show Gabrielle and Haimon watching them. Gabrielle is working on a scroll but has stopped writing. Haimon is sitting next to her. Sabina and Siran are further in the distance; Sabina is arranging some firewood and pointedly not watching, while Siran has been mending a rip in her skirt but has paused to look at Xena and Ares.

The sun has almost set.

XENA (with pretend nonchalance):
     It's time.

ARES (likewise):
     All right--hand it over.

Xena takes the orb out of her breastplate and gives it to Ares, who hesitates for a moment before taking it. Close-up on their hands as the orb passes from her hand to his.

A wide shot of the river. The sun sets, its final rays going out.

Pan back to show Ares and Xena looking at each other uncertainly, then further back to show Gabrielle, Haimon, Sabina and Siran look at them in anticipation.

Trying to act casual, Ares bounces the orb in his hand a couple of times, whistling, then slips it in his pocket. Then he lifts his hand and looks at it, obviously worried but trying not to show it.

Ares balls his fist and shakes it, then raises his hand, aiming at a tree on the riverbank. Medium close-up of the tree. A crow sitting on a large branch cocks its head and looks evilly at Ares, then squawks loudly.

With a yell, Ares releases a fireball, hitting the tree. The large branch where the crow was sitting catches fire, breaks off and plops down into the river with a loud splash. The charred body of the crow falls into the water as well.

Ares

ARES (grins):
     I still got it.

Siran winces while Sabina smiles in amusement.

GABRIELLE (indignantly):
     Now why did you--

PLAY CHIME
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Before she can finish, the bell rings.

"Reset": the tree is whole again. The crow is sitting on the branch. It cocks its head and gives Ares the evil eye. This time, its squawk sounds almost mocking.

Close-up on Ares' dismayed face as we:

FADE OUT

END OF ACT ONE