ACT TWO

FADE IN

Messene. Gabrielle sees Eve and Virgil emerge from the forest and looks relieved; they run to her.

GABRIELLE:
     Eve! Virgil... You're all right?

EVE (impatient):
     Yes, we're fine, but there's a terrible creature in the for--

GABRIELLE:
     I know.

VIRGIL:
     You know?

GABRIELLE:
     It seems that Messene isn't the first village with this problem. It's a creature called a guivre...

EVE (looking around, not seeing Xena):
     Where is my mother?

GABRIELLE:
     She went looking for you not too long ago. She should be back soon.

VIRGIL:
     I hope she hasn't run into this...guivre out there.

GABRIELLE:
     I'm sure she'll be fine. You know her.

EVE:
     That's exactly why I'm worried. She's just going to try to take it out on her own, with no thought for her safety--

GABRIELLE:
     She won't have to do that--they say there's a man in the next village that has dedicated his life to killing dragons. If we can find him, he might know a way to kill the guivre.

EVE:
     If he does, why is it still alive?

GABRIELLE:
     That's a good question. One I'm sure Xena will ask him.

EVE:
     I hope so. (lifts her basket of herbs) I better go help that woman. No one else has fallen ill?

GABRIELLE:
     Not that I've heard.

EVE:
     Good. (she looks at Virgil) Come on, Virgil. Gabrielle, if she's not back soon, come and find us, all right?

GABRIELLE:
     She'll be back. (looks at Eve's worried expression) But all right.

EVE:
     Thanks.

Eve and Virgil walk further into the village and Gabrielle stays where she is, waiting for Xena.

CUT TO

A room in the village. There's a bed, a table and two chairs. The ill woman is lying on the bed, and her brother is standing by her, watching as Eve feeds her a brew made from the herbs. Gabrielle and Virgil are watching from the chairs on the other side of the room.

VASILIS (very worried):
     Is that stuff helping?

EVE (soothing):
     I think so. Her fever's gone down a little.

Xena enters, and we see a relieved smile appear on her face when she sees Eve and Virgil are safe.

XENA (talking to Virgil, as Eve is still focused on the woman):
     You're safe! How long have you been back?

VIRGIL:
     About half an hour--we were starting to get worried about you.

XENA:
     Likewise. Did Gabrielle tell you about the dragon?

GABRIELLE:
     I did. They ran into it.

EVE (who has been half-listening to the conversation; from across the room, not even turning her head):
     And we're both fine.

XENA:
     Good. I saw it too--not pretty.

GABRIELLE:
     Xena, its a dragon--I'd start worrying if you thought it was pretty.

XENA:
     Ha ha. (turns you Eve) How's she doing?

EVE (looks at her):
     Her fever's going down, but it won't last long. The herbs aren't enough.

XENA:
     She looks a little better--but I expect you're right.

GABRIELLE (looks at Xena):
     Xena, you know that man we were talking to earlier? (Xena nods) Well, he said there might be a man in the next village that knows how to kill the guivre. He's known as the Dragon Slayer.

XENA (dryly):
     How creative.

GABRIELLE:
     I think we should go and see if we can find him--it's worth a shot, right?

XENA:
     Yeah, it is. (to Eve and Virgil) We'll be back soon. The sooner we can find out how to get rid of it, the better.

Eve and Virgil nod. Xena and Gabrielle leave.

CUT TO

Xena and Gabrielle are walking through the forest.

GABRIELLE:
     Are you sure this is the only way to the village? I don't really feel like running into the guivre before we know how to kill it. Do you?

XENA:
     I've already run into it once.

GABRIELLE (rolls her eyes):
     That's not the point.

XENA:
     The man lives in Pylos, right?

GABRIELLE:
     Yeah. If he's there.

XENA:
     Well then, this is the fastest route.

GABRIELLE (not looking where she is going):
     I sure hope you're prepared in ca--

Gabrielle is cut off when she trips over a log. She falls forward and lands in a pool of mud, probably left from the rain the night before; it splashes everywhere, including all over Xena.

They look at each other.

GABRIELLE (looking at her wet, muddy outfit):
     It hadn't even dried from last night!

Xena looks at her with exaggerated seriousness, trying desperately not to look smug.

GABRIELLE:
     Don't. I'll say it for you. You told me so. Velvet is impractical.

XENA:
     Don't know what you're talking about. (flicks a bit of mud at Gabrielle) It's perfect for mud-wrestling.

GABRIELLE (yelps and scrambles to her feet):
     Stop that!

Xena chuckles and starts to clean off her leathers; she manages it without too much difficulty.

GABRIELLE (resigned sigh):
     Maybe I should consider leather. (sniffs air) What's that smell? (looks down at herself) Xena... There's something in this mud. Oh, yuck!

XENA:
     The guivre must have been through here. That's great!

GABRIELLE:
     Excuse me?! Which part of that is great, exactly? I'm covered in serpent dung!

XENA:
     At least we know it's not a ghost. Or an "evil spirit".

GABRIELLE (rolling her eyes):
     Splendid. But if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not turn up in Pylos like this.

XENA:
     Come on. There's a lake this way, you can clean off the worst of it.

CUT TO

The same lake that Xena had seen the guivre at earlier. At the moment, the creature isn't there.

XENA:
     This is where I saw the guivre before--be quick.

GABRIELLE:
     I'm trying!

Gabrielle dives into the water, dressed, then takes off her clothes and starts washing them. She cleans herself off as best as she can. Xena is making sure the guivre is not in the vicinity when she hears quiet rustling in the bushes up ahead. She stiffens and motions to Gabrielle to stay still. Gabrielle stands in the water, shivering, holding the bundle of clothing. Ares walks out from behind the bush toward them, grinning.

ARES:
     You know, they say there's a time and place for everything and I really don't think this is the time for hygiene...given the circumstances.

GABRIELLE (irritated):
     Ares, would you mind? I'd rather not have an audience when I'm bathing.

ARES (holding up hands innocently):
     Hey, I was here first. (looking at Xena) I thought you weren't coming back here, seeing as how there's, oh, this dangerous creature lurking around.

Xena goes to answer him but she sees the guivre appear behind him.

GABRIELLE:
     I think it heard you.

Ares looks behind him.

ARES:
     Aw, great. Xena, what is it with you?

The guivre slithers around the lake, circling them. They watch cautiously.

ARES:
     Do we have a plan?

XENA:
     It'll involve my sword.

ARES:
     Any more details?

XENA:
     I'll let you know once I have them.

The guivre moves closer to Xena, rears and breathes out a puff of its plague breath, which Xena skillfully avoids.

ARES:
     Remember what happened last time you met up with this creature, Xena? As I remember, you had a pretty hard time trying to kill it.

XENA:
     Then I'm just gonna have to try again.

Xena starts trying to stab the guivre again, dancing around it, using her mobility as well as she can. Ares watches for a moment, shrugs and starts throwing lightning bolts at it--but to no avail. They glance off the guivre's body; it hardly notices them.

XENA (over her shoulder):
     Gabrielle, this would be a good time to get out of there.

GABRIELLE:
     I'm with you.

Gabrielle steps out of the lake, clutching her clothes to herself. The guivre swerves away from Xena's sword and swings its head in Gabrielle's direction; it opens its jaws and exhales plague.

Gabrielle screams and rolls out of the way, dropping her clothes. Suddenly, a change comes over the guivre. Its body recoils, its face suffused with color as it tries to direct its eyes away from Gabrielle's naked figure on the ground. In a matter of seconds, the mighty dragon flees, gliding rapidly away through the bushes. Xena is stunned, along with Gabrielle and Ares.

GABRIELLE (quickly reaching for her clothes):
     What happened?

XENA (stunned):
     I think it blushed!

GABRIELLE (to Xena, half-joking):
     Maybe it ran away because it realized you're Hercules' friend.

Ares rolls his eyes.

XENA:
     No, can't be me...or Ares--I fought it before, and Ares stood around and made sarcastic comments.

ARES:
     A very appropriate division of labor.

GABRIELLE:
     Are you suggesting that I scared it off?

XENA:
     That's absurd. (Gabrielle raises an eyebrow and a change starts to come over Xena's face) But maybe you are right. It was going to attack you, before you dropped your clothes--

ARES:
     Fancy that.

XENA (ignoring him):
     --and then it blushed and fled!

ARES (in a tone of voice to provoke Xena):
     Now there's something you don't see every day: a creature that's afraid of naked women.

XENA:
     Well, now we know how to scare it off. But I don't think that turning Messene into a nudist colony is going to work.

ARES (sly grin):
     Hey, maybe we could get my sister to enchant another scroll and bring back the three naked--

GABRIELLE (glares at him):
     No, thank you very much. (to Xena) Let's go find this Dragon Slayer.

ARES:
     Well, I guess you don't need my help then.

GABRIELLE:
     Do we ever?

ARES:
     How about my wonderful company?

XENA and GABRIELLE:
     Nope.

Ares puts up a mock look of hurt on his face then disappears. Gabrielle shakes her head, smiling a little and looking at Xena.

GABRIELLE (smart-alecky):
     What exactly is it that you see in him, anyway?

XENA:
     What makes you think I do see anything?

GABRIELLE:
     The fact that you can't seem to stop looking!

Xena laughs, but doesn't quite manage to hide her embarrassment. She follows a smug-looking Gabrielle as we:

FADE OUT

END OF ACT TWO