ACT THREE

FADE IN

The sickroom. Eve and Virgil are tending to the woman, who is still asleep. Eve is obviously very tired. The woman's brother is sitting down. Behind them is a steaming pot; Eve turns to crush some herbs into it, before returning to the woman.

VIRGIL:
     You know, she'll be all right if you rest for a little while.

EVE (shakes her head "no"):
     I'll rest when she's all right.

VASILIS:
     Eve, you've done all you can--I know that. (he smiles sadly, but gratefully). I can look after her while she sleeps.

EVE (uncertain):
     If she wakes up--

VASILIS:
     I'll give her more of the tea. (gently) I know.

Eve looks from the sick woman to Virgil, who shrugs as if to say "might as well." After a moment, Eve stands up; she and Virgil turn to go.

VIRGIL:
     We'll be at the inn.

EVE (frowns at the sleeping woman):
     Call us if there's any change.

The man nods in response as Eve and Virgil leave.

CUT TO

A busy tavern. Eve and Virgil are sitting at a table, eating.

VIRGIL:
     Do you believe the stories about Hercules killing all the guivres? They say this is the last one.

EVE:
     It must have been just a baby when he came through here.

VIRGIL (thoughtfully):
     You don't think it's wrong?

EVE:
     What is?

VIRGIL:
     To wipe out these creatures.

EVE:
     They were attacking villages! Destroying the lives of innocent people.

VIRGIL (half-joking):
     I guess it's hard to live in harmony with a pack of serpents at your door.

Eve looks at her feet, and chuckles. A scream is heard from outside.

EVE:
     What now?

CUT TO

Outside, in the center of the village. Eve and Virgil appear in time to see a woman running toward them.

WOMAN #1:
     The monster...it's out there! I saw it! It's right outside the town.

People begin to gather in the street after they hear the screams of the woman. Everyone looks scared.

EVE (taking control of the situation easily):
     Everyone, just stay calm and go back inside your houses. Close all doors and windows--we won't have a plague outbreak here.

VIRGIL:
     Xena and Gabrielle are looking for a way to kill it--but until they find it, we need to protect ourselves and stay inside.

Murmurs go through the crowd and then they start to scatter, going to their homes, locking doors and closing all windows.

EVE:
     Come on, we can stay in the inn for now.

CUT TO

Virgil and Eve in a room in the inn; there is a bookshelf with some scrolls on one wall. Eve sits down on the bed.

EVE:
     I really hope my mother can find a way to destroy this creature.

Virgil takes two scrolls off the shelf and sits down next to her.

VIRGIL:
     She will, Eve. You know how she's always been able to find a way to get out of tough situations.

EVE:
     I know. But even Mother is bound to mess up sometime.

VIRGIL:
     If only to remind us that she's human.

EVE:
     I just wish I knew what she's up to while we're here under house arrest.

VIRGIL (looking at the scrolls):
     At least the company is good.

EVE (understanding):
     Right--Sophocles and Homer.

VIRGIL (grins):
     Them, too.

Eve colors a little.

EVE:
     Virgil?

VIRGIL:
     Yeah?

EVE:
     I'm glad you're here.

They look at each other for a long moment, and then Virgil slowly puts his hand on hers, which rests in her lap. The scrolls fall to the floor.

Then, there is a flash to the side of them. They turn and see Ares.

ARES (seeing the closeness between Eve and Virgil and the way he has his hand on hers; teasingly):
     Did I get you at a bad time?

Eve, somewhat embarrassed, immediately moves her hand away from Virgil's and stands up, glaring at Ares. Virgil follows her, glaring a little too.

EVE (spits):
     What are you doing here?

ARES:
     Just thought you might want to know that your mother discovered something rather interesting.

EVE:
     You playing messenger?

ARES:
     No, I'll leave that to you.

EVE:
     Well, what is it?

ARES:
     Apparently, the guivre isn't fond of the sight of naked humans. (looks meaningfully between Eve and Virgil) An unusual trait, you must admit.

He grins and disappears. Virgil and Eve look thoroughly embarrassed.

CUT TO

Xena and Gabrielle are walking through the busy streets of Pylos.

GABRIELLE (with exaggerated seriousness):
     Now, remember--the man we're looking for is called the Dragon Slayer. (shakes her head) I assume his mother didn't pick that one.

XENA:
     I wouldn't be so sure. She could've been dragged on a sleigh to the midwife's house when he was born.

Gabrielle groans; Xena laughs.

GABRIELLE (sees a woman tending to her horses, walks up to her):
     Excuse me. Do you know of a man that goes by the name of Dragon Slayer?

WOMAN #2:
     Unfortunately. He lives on the edge of town. (motions over her shoulder). You can't miss the place.

XENA:
     Why's that?

WOMAN #2 (darkly):
     You'll see.

CUT TO

Xena and Gabrielle walk up to the building, which would indeed be difficult to miss: it's covered with bones, from the ground to the roof--bones of all shapes and sizes, the effect reminiscent of a storeroom in a paleontology museum. A couple of dragon skulls scowl ferociously over the door.

GABRIELLE:
     Tasteful.

XENA:
     Not to mention, subtle.

Xena knocks on the door; a dark-haired, muscular man opens it. He has many scars on his face and arms, and a patch over one of his eyes. He wears very battered armor that looks like it has seen better days.

XENA:
     Are you the Dragon Slayer?

MAN (with the air of a used car salesman):
     Dragon Slayer, that's me. The complete source of information on local and foreign exotic species, all right here-- (taps his head). Are you in need of my services?

XENA (tolerantly):
     As a matter of fact, we are.

DRAGON SLAYER:
     You are? I mean, yes, yes of course you are. Come in. Come in!

He leads them inside.

CUT TO

Dragon Slayer, Xena and Gabrielle are sitting at a table. In the background, all sorts of weapons and shields hang on the walls.

DRAGON SLAYER:
     So, you need help with a dragon? Well, you've come to the right place.

GABRIELLE:
     The town just over the valley, Messene, is being terrorized by a creature called the guivre.

DRAGON SLAYER (suddenly uncomfortable):
     You know, this is a really bad time... I-uh-have things to do. (gets up) Do you have an appointment? You really can't expect a busy man like me--

XENA (grabs his arm as he tries to sidle away):
     Oh, no you don't. What's so special about this creature?

Defeated, the Dragon Slayer carefully extricates himself from Xena's grip, looking somewhat petulant.

DRAGON SLAYER:
     Only that it ruined my career.

GABRIELLE:
     What happened?

DRAGON SLAYER (with a wary look at Xena):
     All right, I'll tell you--if you stop scowling at me like that.

XENA (drops the scowl):
     Sorry. Force of habit.

GABRIELLE:
     Go on?

DRAGON SLAYER:
     When I was only a small boy, a wise man from this village, Kineas, told everyone that he had discovered how to rid the land forever of the plague brought on by the guivres--there were many of them then. He went into the cave on the far side of Mount Ithmos, where they made their home. But he never came back. Then, some years later, Hercules came and slew the monsters...

XENA:
     How?

DRAGON SLAYER:
     If I knew that, I'd still be in business.

XENA:
     I hope you can tell us more than that.

DRAGON SLAYER:
     Oh, there's more than that. By the time people learned that there was one last guivre left, I had gained quite a reputation as a dragon slayer, and I decided to fight the guivre. I went into its cave armed with my best weapon--a spear tipped with a rare black diamond, which could cut through the hardest scales of the most frightful monsters. But when I struck the guivre with my spear, its tip shattered like glass. The monster opened its mouth to release its plague breath at me, and I... (he fidgets a little and looks down in embarrassment) I ran away.

XENA (sighs):
     Well, I guess now we know about one thing that won't kill it.

DRAGON SLAYER:
     There is something that could help you...

GABRIELLE:
     What?

DRAGON SLAYER:
     When I was in the cave, I spotted some writing that had been scratched into the wall--by Kineas, I think. I only had time to read the first few words. It said that he was dying of the guivres' plague-infested breath, but he had discovered the secret of the monster.

XENA:
     Which was?

DRAGON SLAYER:
     Give me a break, I was running from a giant snake with foul breath! I can run faster than I can read.

XENA (nods):
     Well, that's a start. (to Gabrielle) Let's go.

Gabrielle looks pointedly at the sulking Dragon Slayer, then coughs politely at Xena.

XENA:
     Oh-uh--thanks for your help.

DRAGON SLAYER (cheering up):
     You're welcome! (awkwardly) Say--Could I...have your autograph?

XENA:
     My what?

DRAGON SLAYER:
     You are the famous Xena, are you not? (overly friendly) I thought I recognized that armor--made in Messene, right? I know the best tanners there. I'm sure I could get your friend a discount for a suit just like it.

Gabrielle looks interested.

XENA:
     I'm sure you could. (quickly puts an "X" on the parchment the Dragon Slayer puts in front of her) Now, if you'll excuse us, we have work to do.

DRAGON SLAYER (clutching autograph):
     Thank you! Oh, and--good luck.

With a glance, Xena and Gabrielle leave.

CUT TO

Gabrielle and Xena are leaving Pylos.

GABRIELLE:
     So, do you know how far Mount Ithome is?

XENA:
     It's just north of Messene, but it'll probably take a day to get there.

GABRIELLE:
     A day? That might be too long.

XENA:
     Well, we don't have any other options, do we?

Ares appears in front of them.

ARES:
     Yes you do. (pause) I'll take you to the mountain.

XENA:
     You will?

ARES:
     Yeah. If you're going on this little adventure, it's my job to make sure you get back in one piece.

XENA:
     "Xena: Damsel in Distress". I like the sound of that.

ARES:
     So...?

She stares at him, her mouth quirking up, waiting for the condition of his help.

ARES (rolls his eyes):
     No, no strings attached. I thought we were over that one, anyway.

XENA:
     All right then.

Xena and Gabrielle walk up next to him, but Ares shakes his head at Gabrielle.

ARES:
     Uh, sorry, Gabrielle, three's a crowd.

XENA (glaring at Ares):
     So you're going to take me and not Gabrielle?

GABRIELLE:
     Are you surprised?

XENA:
     I'm irritated. (pointed look at Ares)

ARES:
     Hey, I'm doing you a favor, here, remember. (smirks) It's easier to transport one than two.

XENA (rolls eyes):
     Oh, yeah, I'm sure. (she sees that Ares isn't going to change his mind; looks at Gabrielle) Could you go back to Messene? Someone's got to tell Eve and Virgil what's happening. They're probably wondering where we are by now.

GABRIELLE (sighs):
     Fine. I'll meet you in Messene.

XENA (apologetic):
     See you there.

Gabrielle starts walking off, quietly grumbling to herself. Xena and Ares look at each other for a moment, neither saying anything.

XENA (breaking the silence):
     Are we going anywhere soon, Ares?

ARES:
     Just waiting for you to say the word.

He takes her hand and in an instant, they disappear.

CUT TO

Ares and Xena appear at the cave's entrance. It is a dark, deep cave.

ARES:
     Now what?

XENA:
     The Dragon Slayer said that the guivre makes its home here.

ARES:
     Isn't it a little early in the day for visiting?

XENA:
     We're not visiting. We're breaking and entering.

Ares looks at the alarmingly dark cave where two reptilian eyes are glowing.

ARES:
     Well, that explains the warm welcome. Looks like we'll have to enter before we can get around to the breaking. Any ideas?

XENA (thinking out loud):
     Their weakness is being scared of nudity. So, we should exploit that.

ARES (grins):
     I know what's going to happen now. I say it's a great idea.

XENA (not impressed):
     Ares, just get on with it. We can talk about your great ideas later.

ARES:
     Just remember you said that.

Ares snaps his fingers and their clothes disappear. Xena tries not to show her reaction to a naked Ares. Instead, she makes a point of continuing to stare at the cave.

XENA:
     Ready?

ARES (staring at her):
     Oh, yeah.

CUT TO

Inside, they see the guivre lying on the floor, with an interesting selection of bones as a cushion. It rears its head, but when it sees the two naked people before it, it sinks as far back into the cave as possible and starts trembling. Xena gives it her "look"; it whimpers and huddles even further from them as they get past.

CUT TO

The back of the cave. Ares and Xena are looking around for the writing the Dragon Slayer mentioned.

XENA (points to a piece of rock protruding from the cave floor):
     I found it--over here! Hey, how about some light?

ARES:
     I can do better than that.

He holds out his hand and, with a beam of blue fire, shears the rock neatly off the floor, then picks it up. He grins proudly at Xena.

XENA:
     Okay, okay. I'm impressed. Now let's get out of here.

Ares puts his hand on her shoulder and they disappear in a flash of light.

CUT TO

Outside the cave. Ares and Xena reappear, Ares carrying the rock. Xena walks over to her clothes. As she reaches for them, there is a bright light around her and instantly, her clothes are back on her body. She looks down at herself and then over at Ares, who has his clothes on as well.

ARES:
     What? I thought you were in a hurry?

Xena smirks as she and Ares disappear.

CUT TO

They appear outside an inn in Messene, it's getting dark. Xena looks at Ares, who is still holding the stone with the writing.

XENA:
     I'll take it from here.

ARES (melodramatically):
     Oh, I get it. You only want me around when you need something, is that it?

XENA (teasingly):
     You have your uses.

ARES:
     Aha. So you do want me around?

Xena just smiles and shakes her head. Ares grins and disappears.

Xena turns at the sound of footsteps; Gabrielle, Eve and Virgil approach.

GABRIELLE:
     How'd it go?

XENA (holds up the stone):
     Great.

EVE:
     Does it tell you how to defeat the guivre?

Gabrielle, Virgil and Eve look curiously at the stone tablet in Xena's hands.

Close-up of the writing, in the same characters as Gabrielle's scrolls.

GABRIELLE (voice-over):
     Is that all?

FADE OUT

END OF ACT THREE